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Passion For Life

Confidence

May 16th, 2011

“Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone” – Robert Allen co-author of the one minute millionaire.

Confidence

What is confidence? It is subjective in that the definition of confidence to me might not be the same to you. Confidence isn’t an object, when someone says they want more confidence we can’t just take it off the shelf and give it to them, it is a state. It’s a way of feeling and behaving, and everyone will have felt it at some time, in some situation or other in their lives. The saying we have lost our confidence is quite correct as it assumes that at some point we did have it, and therefore can get it back again.

 

How do we increase our confidence? One way is to continually challenge ourselves, the most growth occurs when we dare to step outside our comfort zones. Comfort zones are where we think it’s safest for us to be. They are the people and places we know well, they are the things we do because we have always done them. They are one of the most destructive forces in personal growth. Where would we be now if certain people hadn’t dared move away from their comfort zone? Would we still be in darkness as Thomas Edison might have thought attempting to discover the light bulb after over 1,000 attempts was too daunting?

My daughter went to Thorpe Park recently concerned as she had always avoided the really scary rides through fear. I really encouraged her to just go for it as the buzz she would get from conquering her fears would far outweigh the moments beforehand queuing up frightened. When I saw her later, she looked liked she’d physically grown four inches! And was really animated and excited eager to explain how well she’d done etc. A small part of her had changed that day a new belief put in its place “if I can do that, what else can I do?”

It doesn’t matter how things are in your life right now or how long you have been this way, the good news is it can change and often really quickly!

I know that doing things differently isn’t easy especially if we have been doing certain things the same way for years, but it is a really good place to start to make changes in your life and increase your confidence. I challenge you to do four things differently for the next seven days for example if you always walk the same way to work each day, change it, take a different route (always ensuring it is safe etc) the same applies to driving to work, try altering your journey. If you always dress in the same order every day again completely change things around. This will send a message to your unconscious that you are capable of change. Take up a new hobby; go to a different country on holiday if you go to the same place each year. Do you tend to go to the same restaurants all the time? If so try a new one. Do you order the same food? Again pick something else from the menu.

You will start to find that you are looking for other areas of your life to make positive changes in as well. Change becomes easier with practice and if we can deal with it in a positive way our lives will be much happier.

 

 

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Student Finance

April 19th, 2011

According to statistics the National average student debt is currently around £22,000.00 and they anticipate that with the cap being lifted on tuition fees that this could almost double for students starting in 2012!

 Student finance is handled centrally by Student Finance England in Darlington and includes:

*    Tuition Fee loan

*    Maintenance Loan

*    Maintenance Grant (non repayable)

The amount a student may want to borrow can depend on the institution they go to. There will be a student finance calculator where students can compare their UCAS choices and implications from a financial point of view.

•         Tuition Fees for 2011 maximum currently £3,375.00 per year for full time courses. These fees may vary slightly so prospective students must check with individual universities and courses

This could rise to as much as £9,000.00 per year from 2012 when the cap is lifted.

•         Tuition Fee Loan – Students can borrow the whole amount if they want to. It does not matter what your family income threshold is. It is payable after students start earning in excess of £15,000.00, this will change for 2012, then you will only start paying back your loan when you are earning over £21,000.00.

Maintenance Loan

 

*    This is dependent on where you live where you study, your income, and household income.

*    72% of the loan is guaranteed for all students. So you could be a millionaire and still get 72%. 28% will be dependent on household income

Anything that mentions loan in the title has to be paid back.

Any student who is eligible for student finance is eligible to receive a Maintenance Loan. The amount you get depends on your household income. As with tuition fee loan it does have to be paid back but again not until you are earning over £15,000 per year, again for students starting in 2012 this threshold will rise to £21,000.

Maintenance Grant – who is it for?

*    The grant helps cover your living costs throughout the academic yearBooks,

*    As it is a grant you do not have to pay it back

*    It covers books, travel fares etc

The Good news! – You don’t have to pay it back.

Bursaries and Scholarships –what are they?

*    Bursaries are extra financial help from your university or college

*    The amount you can get depends on your university or college and your household income.

*    If you receive the full Maintenance Grant and are being charged the full tuition fee you will get at least £319.

*    You could get much more, they currently range from £319 to £3,150

*    Some universities will give a bursary to everyone. If you tick on the UCAS form to say that you do not want to receive information you may miss out on finding out valuable info regarding bursaries and scholarships etc.

You do not have to pay this back, check with your university/college to find out how to apply, also look at  http://bursarymap.direct.gov.uk

 

 Additional Help

*    Disabled Students Allowances are available if you have a disability, mental-health condition or specific learning difficulty. There is a range of help available.http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/EducationAndTraining/HigherEducation

You don’t have to wait until you have a confirmed place, just use your first choice course and let them know if it changes later. In this way you can have all your finance sorted out before you start the course.

Contact Details

*    Login via www.direct.gov.uk/studentfinance

*    Phone: 0845 300 5090

Good luck!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Higher Education | 2 Comments »

Understanding Teenagers

April 4th, 2011

How well do you know your teenager?

·     What are the names of his/her best friends?

·     What are his/her favorite TV programmes?

·       What kind of music does he/she like?

·       Do you know the names of the artists?

·       What influences his/her opinions most?

·       What sport does he/she like?

·       What team do they support?

·      If he/she were given £30 how would they spend it?

·      What has been your teenager’s greatest achievement so far?

·      Where would your teenager like to spend his/her ideal day out?

·      What does my teenager think he/she is good at?

·       What would my teenager like to be good at?

·       What is their favorite film of all time?

·       What makes them happy?

·       What would be their dream job?

·      When was the last time you went out with your teen on their own?

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Exam Stress

April 1st, 2011

I know people working with teenagers sometimes wonder why they appear so stressed “what have they got to worry about, it’s not as if they’ve got bills to pay”! The reality is that life for them today is more pressurised than ever before, and school days in particular can be a very worrying time for young people, particularly when they have to take exams and whilst some pupils breeze through them for some it causes no end of anxiety.

Research conducted by Childline sited one of the top issues affecting young people today as being concerns around taking exams, and that the stress related to this can significantly affect their mental well being. The pressure on young people to attain good results for fear of letting their families, friends, school and themselves down is widespread. It is also compounded by the fierce competition for decreasing university places necessitating achieving higher grades. Having interviewed thousands of young people over a ten year period as a professionally trained careers adviser and listened to their genuine concerns around exam performance, I searched for better ways to support them and assist them in achieving their full potential. I found that often bright pupils were significantly underperforming at exam level and therefore not reaching the grades they were more than capable of attaining due to severe exam nerves. Also, extremely bright pupils were choosing the more vocational BTEC qualifications that did not involve taking exams, then leaving to get a job instead of considering university as an option.

 

Whilst it has been said that at times a small degree of nerves can help in exam situations, what some pupils experience goes way beyond this and is severely debilitating. Teachers warned that the number of young people driven to self harm and suicide because of exam pressure was on the increase. Seventy five percent surveyed by the teaching union felt that young people were under more stress today than a decade ago. It can also trigger other mental health problems such as self harm and eating disorders.

 

When I work with young people I use a range of eclectic techniques to support them. A recent case study involved supporting a teenager who’d been forced to take a year out after finishing their GCSE’s because of the effect taking exams were having on them. They’d endured years of being paralysed by fear, what was particularly traumatic for them was the set up of the room and the expectation of silence for a long period of time. They’d been offered cognitive behavioural therapy but unfortunately it had not worked for them, moreover they felt that having to sit in a room and work through it had left them more anxious and distressed than before.

 

Initially of paramount importance is mental attitude and emotional state of mind walking into an exam room. If they walk in believing they are going to do badly there’s a good chance they will. As Henry Ford famously said “whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re probably right”. A range of visualisation techniques were employed together with confidence exercises and time line therapy to enable the student to literally see a positive outcome. Although understandably after the first session there was doubt and disbelief since other attempts to resolve this had all failed, what I later learned had encouraged them to return for a second session was seeing the benefits of the exercises I’d insisted they do every day at home. These included breathing techniques and Thought Field Therapy (TFT)

described as the power therapy of the 21st century. It is a simple, rapid, and

natural treatment that works with the body’s energy system. It can produce often immediate and dramatic results to those suffering from a variety of problems including anxiety and stress. Using the established meridians and acupressure points of the body, gentle ‘taps’ are administered in specific sequences. The advantage of this treatment is that young people can do this themselves at home.

After only three or four sessions the young person was able to sit in an exam room without sobbing and becoming anxious. “I feel in control and confident enough to go into a lesson without ending up in a state. I was given good techniques that are quick and easy for myself to do, so I always feel good, school is much easier now after 2 1/2 years of struggle”.

These techniques and strategies are not difficult to implement and I believe every pupil in schools should have access to them, in an age when as already mentioned young people are under more pressure than ever before isn’t it our duty to support them?

 

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Higher Education

July 29th, 2009

It’s that time of year again when 17/18 year olds are preparing to get their AS and A2 results and for some when the dreaded word ‘Clearing’ will become very familiar.

Having two teenagers myself one of them going through the process and the other about to start, I know how daunting it must be for parents trying to support their sons and daughters. I am finding it challenging and my training is as a careers adviser, so I have every sympathy for other parents.

It was with this in mind that I wrote a Higher Education newsletter, please feel free to sign up for it click here  http://www.passionforlife.me.uk/registration/default.aspx

Information is provided on the whole process from the start of year 12 to completing the UCAS statement and the resources available to help you navigate your way through this at times daunting process.

Since I feel that clearing deserves a special mention all of its own I will shortly be writing one on this topic. The date that the whole process will start for most people this year is Thursday 20th August, when A2 results are released.

Clearing only applies to year 13 pupils who have just left school and are looking to go off to university in September, so please do not worry if your son/daughter is going into year 13 this year as it does not apply to them. Their priority at the moment will be on deciding which courses they might like to study? And then where ?

 They can choose up to five on their UCAS (University and Colleges Admissions Service) application. Although the main deadlines for UCAS applications i.e. 15th October 09 for medicine, dentistry and veterinary medicine,  24th March 2010 for art and design courses and 15th January 2010 for all other courses, may seem a long way off, it would be prudent to start researching this now as open days have already started and will continue throughout the Summer and Autumn terms.

In my newsletter I have listed some invaluable research tools to make the decision making process a little easier. Bearing in mind they will be spending three or four years of their lives at university, It never ceases to amaze me the amount of young people who choose universities without ever having set foot inside the door which I feel is a high risky strategy as on the whole in order to flourish and do well you have to be comfortable in that environment.

The analogy I would use is to liken it to buying a house which hopefully they wouldn’t do without first seeing it!

I heard of a young boy once who told his teachers how thrilled he was at having been offered a place at such a prestigious university as St Andrews only to then say that he couldn’t go of course as it was in Scotland which he hadn’t realised when he’d put it down as one of his choices!

So it’s wise to go along and have a look even if you can’t make the open days, just setting foot on campus and seeing the local environment, will give them a very good idea of whether they will be happy studying there or not.

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